feedback on writings

I'm correcting!!!

1. First of all, when Death Penalty is used as a way of PUNISHMENT FOR a murderer, the cycle of violence just continues.

2. Additionally, violence doesn't decrease WHERE the Capital Punishment is established.

3. The second reason for the low birth rate is the lack of THE PLACE WHICH parents can leave their children while they are working.

4. this is not SOMETIMES possible because women are often a single mother; as a result, they can't afford staying at home.

5. In contrast to this case, men begin taking care of the children on the household. Consequently, their wives have the possibility to earn money.

6. First, in these days, soccer is extremely connected to money. Many people go crazy for gamble related to soccer.

7. Moreover, rich team bribe referees for taking advantage. Some soccer players control the conclusion of the game for wining gamble. These things take off fans from soccer.

8. The referees control the game not to be allowed too many defense to enter into the penalty box.

9. ...the Death Penalty is used to punish a murderer by repeating what he/she did: kill.

10. It would be possible that people who commited a crime take a therapy.

11. Women should have the possibility getting back to work after the birth of their child. Furhtermore, institutions like kindergartens have to be established more often.

12. Finally, to make the parents' decision, having children, easier it should be possible that men, instead of women, take a rest of their work.

13. FIFA HAS to make a effor to maintain the popularity.


Give up!!!!!!! T.T

hints

here are some hints as to what i'm looking for in each sentence.
1.think about following the rules for using gerunds and infinitives
2.anyplace means "any one area" is that good here?
3.what is an "establishment where parents can leave their children"?
4. women= a mother?
5. is the correct word "possiblity", "opportunity", "responsibility" or "chance"?
6.see hint 1. also "first" or "firstly"?
7.subject-verb agreement, spelling, take off means leave
8.this needs to be totally reworked...?..
9.punctuation
10.is therapy countable?
11.established is the wrong word
12.way too many commas
13.subject-verb agreement

1. First of all, if Death Penalty is used as a way of punishing a murderer, the cycle of violence just continues.

2. Additionally, violence hasn't decreased anywhere when the Capital Punishment had been established.

3. The second reason for the low birth rate is the lack of establishments like kindergartens where parents can leave their children while they are working.

4. Sometimes this is not possible because women are often single mothers; as a result, they can't afford to stay at home.

5. In contrast to this case, men begin taking care of the children and the household. Consequently, their wives have the opportunity to earn money.

6. Firstly, in these days, soccer is extremely connected with money. Many people go crazy because gambling is related to soccer.

7. Moreover, rich teams bribe referees for taking advantage. Some soccer players control the conclusion of the game in order to win the gamble. Soccer fans are fed up with these kind of things.

8. The referees control the game not to be allowed too many defense to enter into the penalty box.???

9. ...the Death Penalty is used as a method to punish a murderer by repeating what he/she did: kill.

10. It would be possible that people who committed a crime take therapies.

11. Women should have the possibility getting back to work after the birth of their child. Furhtermore, institutions like kindergartens have to be found (?) more often.

12. Finally, to make the parents' decision having children easier, it should be possible that men instead of women take a rest of their work.

13. FIFA has to make an effort to maintain their popularity.

1. First of all, when Death Penalty is used as a way of PUNISHMENT FOR a murderer, the cycle of violence just continues.

2. Additionally, violence doesn't decrease WHERE the Capital Punishment is established.

3. The second reason for the low birth rate is the lack of THE PLACE WHICH parents can leave their children while they are working.

4.Sometimes, this is not possible because women often become a single mother; as a result, they can't afford staying at home.

5. In contrast to this case, men begin taking care of the children on the household. Consequently, their wives have the opportunity to earn money.

6. Firstly, in these days, soccer is extremely connected to money. Many people go crazy about gamble related to soccer.

7. Moreover, rich teams bribe referees for taking advantage. Some soccer players control the conclusion of the game for winning gamble. These things remove fans from soccer.

8. The referees have to control the game to avoid too many defense to enter into the penalty box.

9. ...the Death Penalty is used to punish a murderer by repeating what he/she did "kill".

10. It would be possible that people who commited a crime take therapy.

11. Women should have the possibility getting back to work after the birth of their child. Furhtermore, institutions like kindergartens have to be established more often.

12. Finally, to make the parents' decision, having children, easier it should be possible that men, instead of women, take a rest of their work.

13. FIFA HAS to make a effor to maintain the popularity

1. First of all, when Death Penalty is used as a way of punish a murderer, the cycle of violence just continues.

2. Additionally, violence doesn't decrease when the (c)Capital (p)Punishment is established in anyplace.

3. The second reason for the low birth rate is the lack of (facilities, institutes) establishments where parents can leave their children while they are working.

4. Sometimes this is not possible because women are often (-a) single mother(s); as a result, they can't afford staying at home.

5. In contrast to this case, men begin taking care of the children on the household. Consequently, their wives have the possibility (opportunity) to earn money.

6. First, in these days, soccer is extremely connected to money. Many people go crazy for gamble related to soccer.

7. Moreover, rich team bribe referees for taking advantage. Some soccer players control the conclusion of the game for wining gamble. These things (scare off)(-take off) fans from soccer.

8. The referees control the game not to be allowed too many defense to enter into the penalty box.
- The referees control the game to avoid too many defenders to enter the penalty box

9. ...the Death Penalty is used to punish a murderer by repeating what he/she did: kill.

10. It would be possible that people who commited a crime take a therapy.

11. Women should have the possibility getting back to work after the birth of their child. Furhtermore, institutions like kindergartens have to be established more often.

12. Finally, to make the parents' decision, having children, easier it should be possible that men, instead of women, take a rest of their work.

13. FIFA have to make a(n) effor(t) to maintain the popularity.

1. First of all, when (d)Death (p)Penalty is used as a way of punish a murderer, the cycle of violence just continues.

2. Additionally, violence doesn't decrease when the (c)Capital (p)Punishment is established in anyplace.

3. The second reason for the low birth rate is the lack of (facilities, institutes) establishments where parents can leave their children while they are working.

4. Sometimes this is not possible because women are often (-a) single mother(s); as a result, they can't afford staying at home.

5. In contrast to this case, men begin taking care of the children on the household. Consequently, their wives have the possibility (opportunity) to earn money.

6. First, in these days, soccer is extremely connected to money. Many people go crazy for gamble related to soccer.

7. Moreover, rich team bribe referees for taking advantage. Some soccer players control the conclusion of the game for wining gamble. These things (scare off)(-take off) fans from soccer.

8. The referees control the game not to be allowed too many defense to enter into the penalty box.
- The referees control the game to avoid too many defenders to enter the penalty box

9. ...the (d)Death (p)Penalty is used to punish a murderer by repeating what he/she did: kill.

10. It would be possible that people who commited a crime take a therapy.

11. Women should have the possibility getting back to work after the birth of their child. Furhtermore, institutions like kindergartens have to be established more often.

12. Finally, to make the parents' decision, having children, easier it should be possible that men, instead of women, take a rest of their work.

13. FIFA have to make a(n) effor(t) to maintain the popularity.

Final answer!!!!! written by the smart student

1. First of all, when the death penalty is used as a way of punishing a murderer, the cycle of violence just continues.

2. Additionally, violence doesn't decrease whereever capital punishment is established.

3. The second reason for the low birth rate is the lack of daycares where parents can leave their children while they are working.

4. Sometimes this is not possible because women are often single mothers; as a result, they can't afford to stay at home.

5. In contrast to this, men are beginning to take care of the children in the household. Consequently, their wives have the opportunity to earn money.

6. Firstly, soccer is extremely con
nected to money these days. Many people go crazy about gambling on soccer.

7. Moreover, rich teams bribe referees to fix game. Some soccer players control the conclusion of the game for wining gamble. These things scare off fans of soccer.

Re: Final answer!!!!! written by the smart student

nice work woong. you are totally awesome!